Pain

What is pain?

I know pain.

I experience and suffer through it every day.

But, do you? Pain is when you cry,

Pain is when you're sad,

Pain is when you cut, and bleed,

Pain is a form of mental pain that's unescapable by any means No matter how hard you try,

Or beg, or fight it,

You just simply can't

It's so overpowering that when it hits you, you're paralyzed,

That's all you can do,

Is just suffer through it And if you struggle, it only gets worse,

And the pain just increases,

Until you can't see, or hardly breathe, or even think So, I still question whether or not people truly understand the meaning of pain,

Because I'm guessing they haven't even experienced sadness,

For sadness is the originator of all sorrow and pain


-Dennis Dodd (10/26/1992)

Life

Life

Some people go through it

Innocent and cheerful,

They will never know my pain

Or agony, sadness, or sorrow

That I go through every second of every day



They will never know,

What it's like,

To have to go through each day

Wondering if they'll make it tyo the next.

Or have to question,

The love of those whom they hold so very close



They will never

Have to endure through

The suffering of losing a loved one,

Or then loss of a friend



They will never

Be able to comprehend

Anything I've been through



And while they act like they care

They really don't,

Because that's all it is,

It's one big act,

And I have the lead



They will never

Have to experience,

Heartbreak, being cheated, and always being lied to

Or even a little emotional turmoil



But in the end,

I know that,

It's a part of life,

And so I have to accept

Just accept it



Accept and try to move on

Hoping, and wishing, and praying,

Tommorrow will be better



But, of course,

It won't,

And I will suffer eternally



Why?

Because,

It's called life,

And we are all an active participant,

In this game



-Dennis Dodd (10/26/1992)

Best Friends, Friends, and Honorable Mentions

Of course, I wouldn't be where I am without my best friends:

Colton Reeves for the nine years of friendship -- Cheers mate!, Angelica, Joseph Warrender for always being on there when I needed you, Airy, for everything, Crystal for being there, Brittany Miller for kicking my ass when it needed it, Samie, for all the love, Michelle, for making my life worth living again, Cathy for everything that you've done, Mike, for all of the wonderful homosexual sex, and John for crying with me.



Honorable Mententions include: Melissa, the most amazing aunt I've ever known, David for putting up with me, and leading UIA through all of the hard times, both in KoC and KD, Matthew, for being my co-leader and my spiritual guidance for UIA, Bruce for being my first friend on Cyanide-x, Kevin for being a kick-ass friend, Adrienne for being there, Tyler for everything, John.... for being my friend... even after the backstabbing, my brother, Cris, for taking all of the bull, Yvonne for being the mother I never had, Anita for letting me run away to your house, Pastors Scott, Bill and Mark for praying and bowling with me, Pastors Patty and Lowell Hustell, as well as Pastor Chestor Boyd, for the guidance, and prayer. Hans.. memories there... but most of all I would like to thank my father, Cristian Hunter Dodd, for giving me my life, my support, and the source of all of my inspiration!

We

We hide because we want to be found,


we walk away because we want to see who follows,

and we let our hearts get broken to see who cares enough to fix them

Mental Thinking

I've noticed... that there's different thinking styles... and each one does or doesn't get along with another thinking styled. For example, there's hypocrites. They tell someone not to do something, and then do it themselves. A good example would be someone who tells someone not to smoke, but yet smokes themselves. Personally, this drives me insane. But there are also religious thinking people. They dedicate themselves completly and totaly to their Lord. But then... there's also people like me, and Paul, and my father. We... have our own ways of thinking and doing. We.. will never be understood by anyone other than the people who think we do, because we have no way to explain ourselves. Either you know us, REALLY know us, or you know nothing about us. So my question to you is: What kind of mental thinking style do you have, and how does it affect you, and others around you? And don't just come on here and answer these questions. Most might. But if you do, I'll delete your comment. You need to sit down and really think, and you might be suprised at how you really think, rather than how you or others might manipulate into thinking. Then, when you've done that, come on here, and reply. But until then, just think about it.

Why We Love Them

Why do boys fall in love with girls?



1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the your cell after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says,"Let's not fight anymore," even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say,"I love you".

18. Actually... just the way they kiss you.

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.

23. The way they say,"I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.





Yet, regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world doesn't matter; they become everything to you. When you look them in their eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons; no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.





A feeling.





Only felt.

Names and memories.

Leave your name as a blog comment and...




1. I'll respond with something random about you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I'll pick a sport that reminds me of you.

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.

5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.

If you were a(n)...

If you were an angel, and you had it all: couldn't feel pain, couldn't bleed, heard the music in the sun rise, and helped people when in pain. And could even hear what people were thinking. But the question is: If you fell in love with a human so bad you wanted to feel her touch, wanted to make love to her, and you had a second chance to live.. but, you would have to give up all you had as an angel. Would you do that just for the girl you loved that bad? To be able to bleed and feel people's touch and pain? Really, think about it... this goes for girls, too, but it's mainly for guys to answer. That is, if they really love you. But the question is:

Would they do all that just to be with the one they love?

Memories

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. it can be anything you want - good or bad. when you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised about what people remember about you.

What happened?

That is my question: What happened? One day we're 1 year old, playing in the sandbox, the next, we're 14, and the next we're 50. So.. I'm trying to slow down, and figure some things out... it's just too bad that other people are to late... So what I'm saying is just sit down and think: Are you TRULY happy? I KNOW I'm not. Yes, I have the most beautiful girl in the world, who would do anything for me... but I'm not happy for myself. I've made far too many mistakes, and done FAR too many things... Like not supporting my girlfriend like I should've. So... I'm not asking her to forgive me... I'm asking myself what I'm going to do to change myself, not to necessarily better myself, but to change and not make the same mistakes again... because I know that if I do... I may never see her again.. and I couldn't live without her... She gives me my purpose. She gives me a reason to get up in the morning.... Why do you think I get up? To see her. Why do you think I can't go five seconds without thinking of her? Why do you think I go to school? To see her. Why do you think that I wish it was Monday on the weekends that I don't see her?... Just to see her... And she doesn't know how much she means to me... Yes, I've been an asshole to her, and yes, I don't deserve her... but I just think everyone else should stop and think, before thier life is over before it starts... otherwise you'll regret ever getting up in morning... trust me... I said this is one of my other blogs: Don't waste 14 years of your life like I did... And seriously, don't. Go, sit down, and seriously consider if you're truly happy, otherwise you're bound to make the same mistakes I did. ... "Why do we learn history? Why, because, quite simply: If we are to forget history, than it shall be bound to repeat itself... and we don't want another World War Two, now do we?"

"Forced" Rant

Okay, people. I think it's time you stopped saying this. People, or, anything in general, cannot "force" or "make" you do anything. Life is full of choices. You hear that alot. But you do not realize the true meaning of this until you find out that every little thing that you do, even reading this right now, is a choice. You have billions of choices to make in your lifetime. For example: You work at a bank. Someone walks in with a mask on, armed with the shotgun, and demands money from you, the only teller (hey, it's 2nd shift!) You have a couple of options. You can:


1) Duck under the counter and hope he doesn't hop over it.

2) Pray to the LORD that there's a security guard on duty.

3) Pull out your gaat and blast his sorry a**!

Now.. which one would choose?

So, now, when someone says that they were "forced" to do something, please go right ahead and tell them they are full of crap. And then, of course, you can watch and laugh as they stare at you thinking,"WTF?" Just thought I'd clear that up. :)

"Sad" Rant

I've just gotta' say... I love all of my friends and family. I really do. Hopefully they love me, too. People think I'm crazy because I would die for my friends and family; how bout' you? Wouldn't you die for your mother, your father? If they were dying with cancer, wouldn't you want to take their place; let them live, let them grow and be 100. *Chuckles* NOW who's crazy?... Just think about it for a minute. Think about how "short" life really is. In the blink of an eye, it can pass you by. I'm 14; where did the years go?... Like everyone else, I also wish I could go back; change all of the things I did wrong. But no one is perfect. So, I accept the facts: I'm not very popular, people will always make fun of me, I'm poor, but at the same time rich. I will probably die at the age of 70 from a heart attack. I will never be a a millionaire. Simple facts, right? They can change a lifetime. Think about that, as you read this. What could you be doing? You could be outside, enjoying yourself. Now, you may be outside. Heck, you could be in your front lawn right now on your labtop! Get up, and go do something. Don't be like me. Don't waste 14 years of your life. You could be the most famous person in the world. But if you haven't done anything, no contributions to society, no donations, you are just like the penniless bums on corners. But, hey, what do I know?